Jokes

I love jokes.  The sillier, the better!  This one was told at the dinner table the other night, and it cracked me up:

“You can pick your friends.  You can pick your nose.  But you can’t pick your friend’s nose!” 

Another one of my favorites is this one: 

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.  He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia  Whack.  So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."  Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.  The frog says $30,000.  The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.  Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan.  She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.  The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall.  Bright pink and perfectly formed.  Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.  She finds the manager and says:  "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000.  And he wants to use this as collateral."  She holds up the tiny pink elephant.  "I mean, what the heck is this?"

So the bank manager looks back at her and says:  "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

(Copied from http://ljhs.sandi.net/faculty/mteachworth/strange-n-mundane/strange%20additions/frog_loan.htm.  Many slight variations of this joke abound.)